Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Now, I'm not saying all girls who look like this are sluts. Just almost all of them.
Personally, I blame Paris Hilton ,
*cough, useless meat sack, cough*
Sorry, tickle in my throat there. Also I'm convinced that there's way too much of the world's population that are Vitamin C deficient. How else can you explain why so many idiots are convinced that having their skin color a lovely shade of oompa loompa orange is sexy?

I can quite clearly remember a time when woman wore make-up and tans in order to look like women and not like hoes. Seriously, hookers up and down the country are up in arms that their 'trashy not classy' look is being usurp by these so-called fashionistas, or as I like to term them, skanks.

And what's with the whole 'the darker the better' spray tan? I went into a furniture shop and tried to purchase a lovely hardwood, mahogany figurine up-light. Imagine my surprise when I tried to plug it in and heard a voice telling me to 'bugger of.' It was only then that I'd realised I'd tried to plug in an 18 year old female... OK, so I lied but the fact that women are walking around looking like a cross between a an orange glow stick, or like they've been baked in the oven at a temperature of 180 degrees, for an hour and a half, is fucking ridiculous.
I too blame Paris Hilton. A woman who makes prostitutes look like the better option.

*snort* I totally would have believed the story if you were trying to tug on an 18 yr old boy... That I could picture you doing. With you being all penis deprived and all.

I think that these girls/women....can we even call them that anymore? I think they need a new category.
Beef Jerky Skanks.
Yeah, that's better.
I think these Beef Jerky Skanks, must hold secret meetings. They probably vote on what hideous shade of orange should be more popular and hold contests for how light they can bleach their hair and pastie pale they can get their lipstick. Come on now, am I the only that noticed how they all look EXACTLY alike?  It seems like the only reasonable explanation.. 
It's a secret Beff Jerky Skank Society.
Also, if you google cunt, a twat load of Paris Hilton pictures show up. Coincidence? I think not.

Actually, speaking of cunts, I had this strange obsession with Prince in my younger days. My bedroom walls were plastered with images of the 'Purple Prince' and I would always end up with a decidedly damp patch in my underwear whenever he came on the TV.
My older brother had a huge collection of porn and one night, I waited while he was out for the night and took a peak at one.

My first beaver shot was also the end of my long standing love affair with the Paisley one. Can you see why?


A vagina.

OK, maybe it's just me then.
~ Lily

I had to read this twice.
Then it clicked.
Then coke came out of my nose, cause I snort/laughed so hard...
Do you have any idea how much it hurts to have a carbonated beverage come out of your nose!?!?
Not too mention the mess I made all over my shirt and computer screen...

Thanks for ruining Prince by the way. Now he's just a hairy pussy with eyeballs.


Of ken said...

This fashion of spray-tanned skanks is an international travesty... I was walking past my local Chinese grocery store the other day and saw some of those orange duck-faced things hanging in the window.

...As for Prince - now I know why I find him so attractive; Damn!

fit-to-be-tied said...

Umm, I now have a new... appreciation of Prince. Great Barbie pic, by the way.

lily said...

Ken : Really? Hanging in the window of a local Chinese grocery store?

In Britain they just hang around street corners, touting for trade...no...sorry, that's prostitutes. Jeez, I keep getting the two mixed up.

Fit-to-be-tied : (Jenni will love that title...on account that she's a perv)
I'm finding it strangely erotic to come across two men (no sexual pun intended) who find another man so appealing...even if it is because he looks like female genitalia.

Thanks for your comment. :)

Violet said...

"beef jerky skanks"

I am totally recycling that one into society. new haven thanks you pre-emptively!

Now "hoe" the f*ck do I follow this blob?!?!?

lily said...

Violet you fucking beauty, it's good to see you here!!

Jenni said...

LOL I do love that name....*fit-to-be-tied*
Reminds me of this one time...okay a couple of times...*sigh*

Oh Oh Oh Violet between the two of us we can work Beef Jerky Skanks into the new "cool" lingo in no time!

Ken~ It's not your fault, his face is like a subliminal message.

Jenni said...

Also *high fucking five* Lily!!
We have two for real people followers!!
Feeling all wet and sticky over it...

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