The workings of Pornography Education.
I have to say I'm not a porn lover or hater. I've even been know to enjoy a free clip on my laptop from time to time.
All in all I find it all pretty educational.
For example, lets discuss the things I've learned from pornography.
First off, it takes an Emmy winning actress to get cum in her eye and smile like that shit doesn't burn like a mother fucker. Seriously, next time you see one of those clips take a good look.
"Please Sir, may I have some more?"
Ridiculous that, that's what goes through my head in the most appalling British accent you could imagine. Not quiet ecstasy inducing.
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*Aftermath of said award winning performance*
Next, no matter what you think, or how unlikely it seems. That huge cock, (usually belonging to a black man, my apologies to all the white men out there but you know it's true) it is going to fit into that poor girls vag or if that crackhead is really unlucky, her ass. It may defy the laws of physics but they always seem to get it in there.
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* I hope you all appreciate the PG 13 version I chose for this image....it could have been really traumatic.*
I also learned that watching porn with your partner and having sex either during or right after, seems to lend them undeserved confidence. Flexing while attempting to pound my insides to jelly isn't really as fun as it looks in the movies.
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*yeah....kinda like this dude*
Most importantly, I have learned that the cheese ball lines are beneficial in real life.
Some guys do actually like to be called "Daddy"
All men liked to have their ego's stroked and be told how "huge" ,"enormous" and "gigantic" their cocks are. Even if they know your lying through your teeth.
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*Helpful Hint; Always practice any type of acting and/or lying in the mirror before hand. As not to shrink the beast with your fit of giggles. The beast is know to have a very fragile sense of self.
But feel free to share your experience later with friends, purely for entertainment's sake.
4 comments:
How about the positions?! I've tried some of them out with my husband, and let me tell you, they ARE NOT POSSIBLE!! Then again, I'm not a 110 lb. contortionist with fake DDs and a cootchie that's seen more dick than a retired urologist.
Haha! Kelly I break a rib, fracture an arm and put my hip out of alignment when putting on a pair of pantyhose, can you imagine what I'd be like if I had to attempt some of those positions??
I'm really unsure as to what you ladies are talking about....I'm still the proud owner of a body equivalent to that of a 16 yr old Olympic Gymnast...
Did you hide this from me? I don't watch porn or have sex. I'm a ten year old boy and thinks it's really fucking gross, but any guy who wants to be called daddy screams, "pedophile" to me.
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