tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40967182121788116102024-03-13T01:17:09.689-07:00Unladylike LadiesI'm basically a girl with the personality of a dude.Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04180685956275319664noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096718212178811610.post-73771274167464708272012-06-24T11:56:00.000-07:002012-06-24T11:56:08.231-07:00Lily hides the porn, while I get educated.<br />
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The workings of Pornography Education.</div>
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I have to say I'm not a porn lover or hater. I've even been know to enjoy a free clip on my laptop from time to time. </div>
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All in all I find it all pretty educational. </div>
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For example, lets discuss the things I've learned from pornography.</div>
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First off, it takes an Emmy winning actress to get cum in her eye and smile like that shit doesn't burn like a mother fucker. Seriously, next time you see one of those clips take a good look. </div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">"Please Sir, may I have some more?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Ridiculous that, that's what goes through my head in the most appalling British accent you could imagine. Not quiet ecstasy inducing.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVGe_qlGc9w0GLgwtwl9GryfUE6XfRlhgS85BK3EKgEg9C6nA8j7Icncav7aYrMQYG4eTSIkMZsT-qup8FIzDUdBBnbZN-9C_9HBIb2ekkHiqGDoO9XDW7bTWzcbsoOGljg1YDLA9PQoc/s1600/images+(16).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVGe_qlGc9w0GLgwtwl9GryfUE6XfRlhgS85BK3EKgEg9C6nA8j7Icncav7aYrMQYG4eTSIkMZsT-qup8FIzDUdBBnbZN-9C_9HBIb2ekkHiqGDoO9XDW7bTWzcbsoOGljg1YDLA9PQoc/s1600/images+(16).jpg" /></a></div>
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<i>*Aftermath of said award winning performance*</i></div>
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Next, no matter what you think, or how unlikely it seems. That huge cock, (usually belonging to a black man, my apologies to all the white men out there but you know it's true) it is going to fit into that poor girls vag or if that crackhead is really unlucky, her ass. It may defy the laws of physics but they always seem to get it in there.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQVmsxPjhuI0rneN1eusyba-g3ze7GWnVFYa0GNlX_VSJhY3cPmu_Bx5O2Ps_rlIoN4ycAdLoY-OktO4wm3PncrjywQul_j3VLYq_v3RntEBM-ThILmH3UWHarqG2tjVWjRDYFQLhveiM/s1600/images+(20).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQVmsxPjhuI0rneN1eusyba-g3ze7GWnVFYa0GNlX_VSJhY3cPmu_Bx5O2Ps_rlIoN4ycAdLoY-OktO4wm3PncrjywQul_j3VLYq_v3RntEBM-ThILmH3UWHarqG2tjVWjRDYFQLhveiM/s1600/images+(20).jpg" /></a></div>
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<i>* I hope you all appreciate the PG 13 version I chose for this image....it could have been really traumatic.*</i></div>
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I also learned that watching porn with your partner and having sex either during or right after, seems to lend them undeserved confidence. Flexing while attempting to pound my insides to jelly isn't really as fun as it looks in the movies.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXqUAJ7fSDOBDKpRnQH1r3xtKIeDX3z_MPur_cYU_RsKFoL35yMzSorsiAi719OlcUJbTdCsi5tEKHq5Gos7RSsdhmghvKd0Tupugc8MQ8DbNux1qoLQrXrthw4MHU2qqswkSBWUpa4Io/s1600/images+(21).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXqUAJ7fSDOBDKpRnQH1r3xtKIeDX3z_MPur_cYU_RsKFoL35yMzSorsiAi719OlcUJbTdCsi5tEKHq5Gos7RSsdhmghvKd0Tupugc8MQ8DbNux1qoLQrXrthw4MHU2qqswkSBWUpa4Io/s1600/images+(21).jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">*yeah....kinda like this dude*</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Most importantly, I have learned that the cheese ball lines are beneficial in real life. </span></div>
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Some guys do actually like to be called "Daddy"</div>
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All men liked to have their ego's stroked and be told how "huge" ,"enormous" and "gigantic" their cocks are. Even if they know your lying through your teeth.</div>
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<i>*Helpful Hint; Always practice any type of acting and/or lying in the mirror before hand. As not to shrink the beast with your fit of giggles. The beast is know to have a very fragile sense of self. </i></div>
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<i>But feel free to share your experience later with friends, purely for entertainment's sake.</i></div>
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<br /></div>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04180685956275319664noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096718212178811610.post-15861296581159482812012-06-22T14:03:00.001-07:002012-06-22T14:04:09.122-07:00<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #991400; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span style="font-size: 30px;">Jenni's sidenotes</span></span></div><div class="post-header" style="background-color: #efe0cb; color: #ff3200; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, FreeMono, monospace; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px 0px 1em;"><div class="post-header-line-1"></div></div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-3300002930732300451" style="background-color: #efe0cb; color: #991400; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, FreeMono, monospace; font-size: 15px; position: relative; width: 518px;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGXyOru0m_-gmEQEq-_H4gXQ5w2Ev2eyZLiqoQKpn0Rjh0QckP7jhzElq5KXFoA9GNV4etnxDPzUIp-9uXSjhoyOtJqII42BmyhNLkd6HwxyVLrmUkjFIPzJbDv2EX0ppZo_JcSSaO7Pfs/s1600/a77_church2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #ff3200; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="292" qu="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGXyOru0m_-gmEQEq-_H4gXQ5w2Ev2eyZLiqoQKpn0Rjh0QckP7jhzElq5KXFoA9GNV4etnxDPzUIp-9uXSjhoyOtJqII42BmyhNLkd6HwxyVLrmUkjFIPzJbDv2EX0ppZo_JcSSaO7Pfs/s400/a77_church2.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.496094) 1px 1px 5px; background-color: white; border: none; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.496094) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 8px; position: relative;" title="" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">Are you sure?</span></b></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="undefined" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH0xcVLpjfUUAOtVg5xguXXXhUKYTDh__1cQynFRM2kh0IhJpsGLAn9ZfUi-YGN8wtADeZC-pIqORrISh-qVeZNmWKSkI78XgDvcXon4W87ixtoTLs_ZiSygcv-q5LY5kB4HBeLWy3zxIT/s400/8irh5qpeqgrazcg5b6sb.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Hey Jimmy, where's your brother?"</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWkSiGEE5wUYhYEBt1CHOd-foZ_3MEubVoSicpCKrtvU0GFXhGMMmrivFPFiHzrxMmoDsAvgc72bFnT8ekdyklNTuVPo6ITNAv2S3iL8aqZL0coLfzcZJvQTl3fCwrZaP_0k0GUAkVuHEu/s1600/untitled.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="color: #ff3200; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWkSiGEE5wUYhYEBt1CHOd-foZ_3MEubVoSicpCKrtvU0GFXhGMMmrivFPFiHzrxMmoDsAvgc72bFnT8ekdyklNTuVPo6ITNAv2S3iL8aqZL0coLfzcZJvQTl3fCwrZaP_0k0GUAkVuHEu/s400/untitled.bmp" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.496094) 1px 1px 5px; background-color: white; border: none; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.496094) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 8px; position: relative;" title="Shift+R improves the quality of this image. Shift+A improves the quality of all images on this page." width="258" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>So maybe but I've always got my mind in the gutter but you can't tell me that this doesn't </b><b>look just plain wrong.</b></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">~Jenni<br />
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</tbody></table></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096718212178811610.post-57358856793717355112012-03-02T08:03:00.002-08:002012-03-02T08:03:16.557-08:00It's Friday Fuckers!<div id="yui_3_2_0_1_1330703699953105"><div id="yui_3_2_0_1_1330703699953104" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><div id="yui_3_2_0_1_1330703699953103"><span id="yui_3_2_0_1_1330703699953102" style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Happy Friday!!!</strong></span></div><div><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>Let's start the weekend off right.</strong></span></div><div style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUEAjBpBjnlNPba3dpAdqYXSk2Ow6bO4H1PfBWd3gz3UYDjZbfxh7WR9hCzf0cSTWrKtLlaiVDFongQy45NIDoNnziEzcohO6lLjCfqW9mJR87fjA_lQcTaSw5HRRCpAwgbVByOxcwlrg/s1600/imagesCAVBYQME.jpg" rel="nofollow" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUEAjBpBjnlNPba3dpAdqYXSk2Ow6bO4H1PfBWd3gz3UYDjZbfxh7WR9hCzf0cSTWrKtLlaiVDFongQy45NIDoNnziEzcohO6lLjCfqW9mJR87fjA_lQcTaSw5HRRCpAwgbVByOxcwlrg/s400/imagesCAVBYQME.jpg" width="391" /></strong></span></a></div><div><strong><br />
</strong></div><div><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>With a life size chia pet...that or Bigfoot's half brother.</strong></span></div><div><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>There's...Just...So...Much...Hair...</strong></span></div><div><strong><br />
</strong></div><div><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>I'm guessing you need to be into bestiality on some level to be givin' some lovin' to this guy without begging him to do a whole lot of manscaping.</strong></span></div><span style="color: #888888;"><strong></strong></span><br />
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</strong></div><div><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>~Jenni<var></var></strong></span></div></span><strong></strong></div></div><strong><br />
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</strong></div><div><span style="color: #000099; font-size: medium;"><strong><span style="font-family: "times new roman", serif;">Egads! I almost spat my</span> <span style="font-family: "times new roman", serif;">crack pipe out of my mouth, when I saw this pic.</span></strong></span></div><div><strong><span style="color: #000099; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman", serif;">Now I've nothing against the more </span></span><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: medium;">hirsute kinda guy but Chewbacca was not what I had in mind for a future playmate.</span></strong></div><div><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: medium;"><br />
<strong></strong></span></div><div><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>Mind you, there may be many advantages to dating a man that hairy. For example, place him against the door on a cold frosty night and 'ta da', instant draught excluder. Or how about rolling him around on the floor to get the lint from off your carpets...Just don't let him near me when the moon is full.</strong></span></div><div><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: medium;"><br />
<strong></strong></span></div><div><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>~Lily</strong></span></div><div><strong><br />
</strong></div><div><strong></strong></div><blockquote class="yiv144347039gmail_quote" style="border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;"><div><div><div><div><div><div><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>*snort* It is true he could come in handy with all the fuzz...BUT, with us being smokers and all he's probably more of a fire hazard than anything.<br />
~ Jenni</strong></span></span></div><div style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #000099;"><br />
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</strong></div><div><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>See, another use...HUMAN BARBECUE! </strong></span></div><div><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: medium;"><br />
<strong></strong></span></div><div id="yui_3_2_0_1_133070369995399"><span style="color: #000099; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: medium;"><strong>~Lily</strong></span></div>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04180685956275319664noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096718212178811610.post-28325809380856933112012-02-23T11:05:00.001-08:002012-02-23T11:05:59.251-08:00Two Whores, a Man and a Frigid Bitch<span style="color: #cc0000;">This weeks posts are a collaboration of sex. Some things are funny, some are disturbing. Chances are you may be left feeling slightly ashamed after you've read them all.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Part of me woud like to reassure you, wonderful reader that this will be the last of the horrific details you'll be subjected to...But then I'd be a liar.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">In case you missed the previous mind scarring posts from Lily and I, take a trip back a day or two and read, or even re-read the following posts.</span><br />
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<a href="http://unladylikeladies.blogspot.com/2012/02/sex-and-lily.html"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Sex and the Lily</span></a><br />
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<a href="http://unladylikeladies.blogspot.com/2012/02/bulges-midgets-and-mish-mash-of.html"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Bulges, Midgets and a mish mash of awkwardness.</span></a><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">Stay tuned for our guest posts later this week.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">~Jenni</span>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04180685956275319664noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096718212178811610.post-71690263211838530852012-02-22T18:59:00.001-08:002012-02-22T18:59:58.542-08:00Bulges, Midgets and a mish mash of awkwardness.<span style="color: #cc0000;">Welcome to Perverts Anonymous. </span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">I'll be your leading lady in all things that make us perverts. Or just the stuff that makes me a ridiculous pervert....</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">First off. I check out 99% of men I come into contact with, directly or indirectly. Yes I look at your crotch. Yes, I'm trying to determine if you have a big cock. And yes I am wondering whether or not your good in bed. Why? Because other people's sex lives or even lack there of, fascinate me. Also penis size is pretty interesting as well.</span><br />
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<div align="center"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm watching out for...</span></div><div align="center"><span style="color: #cc0000;">(I never even noticed how unattactive his face was until I posted it)</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><br />
</span><span style="color: #cc0000;">Now, I've been married for a long ass time. We've been together for a million years. But unlike most of you poor married schmucks, we have a very active and dirty sex life. Granted there was a terribly depressing hiatus from the sexy time once he knocked me up. That old wives tale about being pregnant with a boy means a higher sex drive, was bullshit. The thought of even looking at his normally beautiful penis was enough to make me want to pull out some Bobbit moves.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Fear not! Children got older, I stopped giving a shit so much about how they ruined my body and got back on the horse (pun intended).</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><br />
</span><span style="color: #cc0000;">Since I'm picturing you doing it. Here's your mental image of my dirty adventures. Think midget sex. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKgVkYogcbYvEU3pCF-cw8vHc_PM54oTRRnTMHQDfJW9KDBspwtuZHwoMKS2BLNLSwJatJitEnY-hgEue0eqyqx-w5avFtoSEFTVbm56iYhJiHdgNC78XOXlNdCqmiySS0X_SE5kQo110/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKgVkYogcbYvEU3pCF-cw8vHc_PM54oTRRnTMHQDfJW9KDBspwtuZHwoMKS2BLNLSwJatJitEnY-hgEue0eqyqx-w5avFtoSEFTVbm56iYhJiHdgNC78XOXlNdCqmiySS0X_SE5kQo110/s1600/untitled.png" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I promise this is not actually me...</span><span style="color: #cc0000;"><br />
</span></div><span style="color: #cc0000;">But not the totally deformed kinda midget. My appendages are all properly proportioned to the rest of me and my head is normal sized. I swear. I'm a regular person, just shrinky dinked. </span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Remember shrinky dinks? They were awesome. </span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">All the things that your picturing you'd like to try with a small person, we do/have done. And all the things that you think that probably wont work, they probably don't...Like 69's , yeah slightly awkward with our enormous height difference...</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">I gotta say though, one thing about men perplexes me. Why? Oh Why? Must you look at a vagina so closely/intently? Don't get me wrong I love my vag, she's a beast and takes it like a champ, BUT your not a doctor and you don't play one on TV. Stop looking at it like that. I know it's confusing and it rarely reacts the way you want it to when left to your own decision making skills, but I swear you cannot look at it hard enough to make it happy. </span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Stop.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Just Stop.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaUNFdu9NbcgjrUK11nFrRsGTZKHWBHVkHz6Uq4m50AHtVWG8Cims5_Tklnvid1hFTPPR76XUufmH-PGV4vBsV0NcianARIpP5A2qRWM3jGuJ_t-BJwghqY7YVRL1HfCeg20KJKLbTMvE/s1600/rontwin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaUNFdu9NbcgjrUK11nFrRsGTZKHWBHVkHz6Uq4m50AHtVWG8Cims5_Tklnvid1hFTPPR76XUufmH-PGV4vBsV0NcianARIpP5A2qRWM3jGuJ_t-BJwghqY7YVRL1HfCeg20KJKLbTMvE/s320/rontwin.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Also, I promise, this too is not the real me.</span></div><span style="color: #cc0000;"><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">~Jenni</span><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"></span></div>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04180685956275319664noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096718212178811610.post-58847691210613435082012-02-21T19:15:00.000-08:002012-02-21T19:15:48.748-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6MMstQ97gWGAhzqtj9cyV4gSgX7oX2PZXHEkdQ0wpGM2nAWmreWGuZ_d9d_Pyp26E29ObWSaLC4pQ8oHH9osF2iyrtS5qOVy7OiaYLClXLX9L7hFoUBEYqysg32nlnVtEXYuPVZv4wv4/s1600/imagesCAZW1039.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6MMstQ97gWGAhzqtj9cyV4gSgX7oX2PZXHEkdQ0wpGM2nAWmreWGuZ_d9d_Pyp26E29ObWSaLC4pQ8oHH9osF2iyrtS5qOVy7OiaYLClXLX9L7hFoUBEYqysg32nlnVtEXYuPVZv4wv4/s400/imagesCAZW1039.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Now, I'm not saying <em>all </em>girls who look like this are sluts. Just <em>almost </em>all of them. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Personally, I blame Paris Hilton ,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">*cough, useless meat sack, cough* </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Sorry, tickle in my throat there. Also I'm convinced that there's way too much of the world's population that are Vitamin C deficient. How else can you explain why so many idiots are convinced that having their skin color a lovely shade of oompa loompa orange is sexy?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">~Jenni</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><span style="color: blue;">I can quite clearly remember a time when woman wore make-up and tans in order to look like women and not like hoes. Seriously, hookers up and down the country are up in arms that their 'trashy not classy' look is being usurp by these so-called fashionistas, or as I like to term them, skanks.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">And what's with the whole 'the darker the better' spray tan? I went into a furniture shop and tried to purchase a lovely hardwood, mahogany figurine up-light. Imagine my surprise when I tried to plug it in and heard a voice telling me to 'bugger of.' It was only then that I'd realised I'd tried to plug in an 18 year old female... OK, so I lied but the fact that women are walking around looking like a cross between a an orange glow stick, or like they've been baked in the oven at a temperature of 180 degrees, for an hour and a half, is fucking ridiculous.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">I too blame Paris Hilton. A woman who makes prostitutes look like the better option. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">~Lily</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">*snort* I totally would have believed the story if you were trying to tug on an 18 yr old boy... That I could picture you doing. With you being all penis deprived and all.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I think that these girls/women....can we even call them that anymore? I think they need a new category. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Beef Jerky Skanks.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Yeah, that's better.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I think these Beef Jerky Skanks, must hold secret meetings. They probably vote on what hideous shade of orange should be more popular and hold contests for how light they can bleach their hair and pastie pale they can get their lipstick. Come on now, am I the only that noticed how they all look EXACTLY alike? It seems like the only reasonable explanation.. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">It's a secret Beff Jerky Skank Society.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">~Jenni</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Also, if you google cunt, a twat load of Paris Hilton pictures show up. Coincidence? I think not.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: blue;">Actually, speaking of cunts, I had this strange obsession with Prince in my younger days. My bedroom walls were plastered with images of the 'Purple Prince' and I would always end up with a decidedly damp patch in my underwear whenever he came on the TV.</span></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: blue;">My older brother had a huge collection of porn and one night, I waited while he was out for the night and took a peak at one.</span></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: blue;">My first beaver shot was also the end of my long standing love affair with the Paisley one. Can you see why?</span></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: center;" trbidi="on"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjclrlNo90-OQjdWgk4MxA-WYYn20gMJJ1gKME4UppbYD9uljUTyrXTr-3m1I9hEZrQIbxv2ytlz2r3Jgu2jAcb3ND1Hg7mHc3pwPI7-k3jz1TDUG5G3C2uSSnJWO3hpDaMdXHSfGCdLMsW/s1600/v.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: blue;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjclrlNo90-OQjdWgk4MxA-WYYn20gMJJ1gKME4UppbYD9uljUTyrXTr-3m1I9hEZrQIbxv2ytlz2r3Jgu2jAcb3ND1Hg7mHc3pwPI7-k3jz1TDUG5G3C2uSSnJWO3hpDaMdXHSfGCdLMsW/s1600/v.jpg" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: center;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: blue; text-align: left;"> Prince</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: center;" trbidi="on"><span style="text-align: left;"><br />
<span style="color: blue;"></span></span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: center;" trbidi="on"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsG-zNaSI_vDi2JHQUIsoJ7YPyjZJywbQAhoC487liX972xPbJY2uQ0HtPutOibORmSrLucdbYIoGaP6mgUp0aS0az7XKNlpuu_b_wJp8ts3NycrmUQh9JfDQy-FP-uGgQ_mRE7Y-d-ReI/s1600/prince.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: blue;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsG-zNaSI_vDi2JHQUIsoJ7YPyjZJywbQAhoC487liX972xPbJY2uQ0HtPutOibORmSrLucdbYIoGaP6mgUp0aS0az7XKNlpuu_b_wJp8ts3NycrmUQh9JfDQy-FP-uGgQ_mRE7Y-d-ReI/s1600/prince.jpg" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: center;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: blue; text-align: left;">A vagina.</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: center;" trbidi="on"><span style="text-align: left;"><br />
<span style="color: blue;"></span></span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: center;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: blue; text-align: left;">OK, maybe it's just me then.</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: blue;">~ Lily</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
</div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I had to read this twice.</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Then it clicked. </span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Then coke came out of my nose, cause I snort/laughed so hard...</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Do you have any idea how much it hurts to have a carbonated beverage come out of your nose!?!?</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Not too mention the mess I made all over my shirt and computer screen...</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
</div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Thanks for ruining Prince by the way. Now he's just a hairy pussy with eyeballs.</span></div><div class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: #cc0000;">~Jenni</span></div><div align="left" class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: center;" trbidi="on"></div><div align="left" class="separator" dir="ltr" style="clear: both; text-align: center;" trbidi="on"></div>Jennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04180685956275319664noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4096718212178811610.post-9063051025800576872012-02-19T16:14:00.000-08:002012-02-19T16:14:57.306-08:00Introduction<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2RAVeZNlz3RHyEmuIbBYwZ7WLJmcY4vwvrCr2QAFASs62_0FcxffLLX_8KdqTv6-wqBFtXnBqvibTyQDsN-K9IGzbfhyphenhyphen0Fgl6OE7cA8049xJ2LP5q1bN_4G4klnQdxi25D1IPJoPS8c/s1600/imagesCAZN0XDA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha2RAVeZNlz3RHyEmuIbBYwZ7WLJmcY4vwvrCr2QAFASs62_0FcxffLLX_8KdqTv6-wqBFtXnBqvibTyQDsN-K9IGzbfhyphenhyphen0Fgl6OE7cA8049xJ2LP5q1bN_4G4klnQdxi25D1IPJoPS8c/s400/imagesCAZN0XDA.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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In this great wide expanse called the 'world wide web,' there exists a myriad of blogs all calling forth to be read. This blog is the brain child of two women who just also happen to be mothers.<br />
However, <span style="color: red;">DO NOT</span> for one second, presume this to be a 'mom/mum' blog, for to do so will only result in your assumptions being bitch slapped into oblivion and you the assumer, (yeah I know it's not a real word, so bite me) being severely and metaphorically kicked in the inguinal region. (which is the posh term for groin. See how bloody cultured I am?)<br />
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Now some people might think that the very nature of pushing out 9 month gestated 'womb fruits' from our poontangs, would makes us virtuous, pious and responsible in the face of motherhood. But those sad deluded fuckers couldn't be more wrong.<br />
So a word of warning for those whom happen to chance upon this blog, It is not for the faint hearted among you. And with that in mind, if you are the type that is easily offended or of a nervous deposition, now would be a really good time for you to fuck off.<br />
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Right, introduction over and done with, I'm off to watch some porn.<br />
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Lily, Jenni</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5